Hawak - Nước
Oakland, California
Released: 08-01-2021
Ben Truong - guitar
Jonathan Ruiz - bass and vocals
Joshua Mendoza - drums
Tomm Nguyen - guitar and vocals
Realign
An ocean's
length that separates
Shores of
past disintegrate
Treading
tradition
To see
If a path
clears
A light
behind me disappears
Gasp of
breath in the face of fear
Treading
tradition
To see a
path,
but I can't
see past my hands
Drifting
aimless with arms outstretched
Tangled
vines take hold of my neck
Can I find
a way to a place I can call home?
"In 1973, when the Americans withdrew from
Vietnam, we were in the battlefield.
We already felt abandoned by our allies.
We already felt that we didn't have enough
artillery to fight the war.
We didn't have enough supplies.
We didn't have the support of the American
government anymore.
So, when we got captured and sent to prison,
that validated our feeling about being betrayed."
In a personal perspective, it suggests
the idea of looking to your origins for guidance. There is a sense of
restlessness and an impression that it is only history repeating itself
awaiting should one choose to engage in this direction. If one turns away from
the path of predetermined futures or tradition and faces the unknown, the
guiding light disappears. Making one's own way is described as "drifting
aimless with arms outstretched", hoping it leads to somewhere one feels they
belong.
In the perspective of
immigration, the image conjured is one of embarking on a journey across an
ocean to attempt at making a new home and the struggles it implies -think of
the language barrier, the racism, the reception one gets upon landing, as so
many "tangled vines". The question of the reason why the move was
necessary, in the first place, comes to mind. Did one leave in fear or in hope
of a better future?
the Hands We Remove
We see them
stalking
resentful
with lust in their eyes
Guilt from
their act still on their hands
We intend
to survive
Call them
all by name
Then break
every chain
Nothing is
forever
Take care
of each other
When our
world collapses
We will die
together
Call them
by name
Burn every
cloak so they can be seen
Call them
by name
Look at
their hands remember the stains
Call them
by name
Conjure the
past then bear the weight
Sever the
wrists
The hands
we remove hold the chains we are trying to break
Perhaps because of physical
location and current news, an interpretation in the perspective of
physical/sexual assault imposed itself. The reference to "lust",
might have helped steering the brain in this direction. Under this perspective,
at first glance, it looked like we had entered the era of denunciation with no
statute of limitations. However, before making this argument (knee jerk
reaction), one must keep in mind that this is not about the dealing of drugs or
other aspects of organized crime where omerta applies and the culture of
snitching is frowned upon. This is another type of crime which opposes one
person that may be allowed to go on as if nothing had happened, with
"guilt from their act still on their hands", to one who has barely
been surviving, suffering in silence and shame from the trauma and backlash of
the circumstances that were imposed upon them. The betrayal by people they knew
or trusted. The victims add up and multiply by how many you get the sense this
has happened to and how many years this has been going on for. It comes down to
accountability and allowing victims to maybe find a way to make it as endurable
to go on as possible. It takes resolve and no small amount of determination to
break away from this bottomless pit in which they were thrown. Is there not a
little guilt that comes with happiness when you know others are miserable? And
how's your conscience, by the way?
Inward Vision
Existence
is binding
Bound to
this flesh
A
collection of cultures
To add to
this mess
Treading
tradition
We sink
into debt
We pay with
our time
Our blood,
and our sweat
In the dark
of life
It leaves
us blind
This is not
the time
To close
our eyes
Embrace
your broken body
You did not choose to be born in
this body as you did not choose where you were born. It is one thing if you
look like just about everyone else, but it is another once you are perceived as
different, as suggested through the reference to the "collection of
cultures" and "flesh". One more parameter to this
"mess". You are part of this world and the idea is implanted early on
that nothing comes free. The culture also dictates you will have to work to get
yours, which will take your "time", your "blood", and your
"sweat". Contract debts and pay back as you go. Fatigue takes its
toll highlighting the physical limitations. It is hard stay focused on the good
that one has to seek in order to balance the positive with the negative.
Overthinking Anxiousness (a Spirit in the Room)
"- Do you think the people in the United
States will accept Vietnamese refugees?
- Hum... In certain cases, I think... I think
they will accept...
- In certain cases? Which cases?
- Those who have families there... and those
who have worked for the Americans... and those who have been [...].
- What about the others who have never worked
for Americans, who don't have families there. What happens to them?
- I think that the Americans will make a choice
and receive them [...]"
Trapped in
my thoughts I'm held
Hostage in
body I dwell
Do you know
the feeling
Of being
divided by
Imaginary
lines?
The theme of isolation
resonating through, its source being of physical origins. The title suggests an
admission that the anxiety could have been generated as the product of a
cerebral overreaction. The author reflects on being part of a crowd or
community divided by its members' perceptions and a lack of inclusion. Was
communication attempted and shut down, for some reason? Has past experience
taught connection as futile and taken away any desire to even try? A call in
the dark. Is there anyone out there?
Burden Sharing
Endless
pieces lost in ripples
Sinking
steady taken in wars
The lives
that we buried
The
children we starve
The shores
that we litter
With debt
paid in
An image of war evoked through
its casualties and its effects amplified through time, described as
"ripples". The poverty, loss, starvation, and destruction left in its
wake. The world's unsorted priorities placed in center stage, as killing is
deemed more important than having people survive. It is not only society it
destroys, but the entire planet. The world is taken hostage by wars. This is
the shared burden.
Shattered Mirror
You just
say her name
You just
feel her pain
Tracing
separate circles in time
Counting
the points where we collide
Past and
present
Torn
reflection
Different
paths
Same
direction
It's an
unforgiving reminder:
Nothing
takes away
The price
we pay
To own our
pain.
We own our
pain.
Pain as a more or less regular
occurrence. As a memory that one does not keep in mind constantly. Time is imaged
as moving in circles. A comparison between two people: the person holding the
mirror and the reflection, the "past" and the "present".
There is a sense of two different identifies with points in common, as the
reflection is described as being "torn", the paths are
"different", although directed at a similar trajectory. Perhaps
linked through genealogy, as a "spitting image". Ruminations to be
followed by the realization that you may put pain aside for some time but it is
only momentary, as it comes back and one has to make do. Pain is carried over
time and distance. Owning pain is taking it upon oneself to go on and accepting
it as their baggage.
Nuoc
Drag
yourself out, out from the past
Leave it in
time, it will outlast
The void
that you carry heavy on your back
Tracing
fingers
Along reflections
Retracing
in shame
You ask
yourself
"mày
là ai" (who are you?)
According
to Google, the vietnamese word "nuoc" translates as "country".
Making your own way in life as
an affirmation that one is more than simply family history and geography. It
takes an effort, as one has to be "dragged" out "from the
past". Identity is constantly redefined through moving on. It is not a
sense that can be possessed, as the author is left to wonder once coming across
their own reflection. A constant stranger to yourself, and therefore to others.
Unseen
Unseen
Isolated
Unclean
Unfamiliar
Unseen
Isolated
and captive outcast
Presence I
tried to have
Stand alone
stand aside
Your norms
are not mine
A confrontation of the author to
the perception others have of them. Is it projection or what they were told.
They feel "Isolated", "unclean", "unfamiliar" and
"unseen". Such is the list of their feelings. Made to feel different
after trying to fit in and making the choice to not take part. A rejection
motivated by a refused acceptance of established norms.
Disinter
Thorn in my
mind
Lost will,
lost time
Grasping
nothing
Weight
keeps crushing
I close my
eyes
Stranded in
time
Open them
after
I feel the
pressure
Drop
Consistency in the face of
pressure. Be it daily life or hardships. The negative can stick as the point of
focus in the author's mind. It takes a conscious effort and an awareness to
take a step back and close one's eyes. It may take time but perhaps it will
come to pass. See if the pressure is lessened or do it all over again. The
process is suggested as a remedy to decreasing energy and motivation.
Haiyan
"You were [..] for three days and it was
certainly very difficult to know during that time we're they going to
survive."
It's easy
to feel alone in this world
Of pieces
left behind and built on your parents' backs.
There's
nothing you can do when you see it crumble
All around
you.
We're here
with you.
We'll stay
with you.
We're still
with you.
When your
storm passes
We will
light your way there.
When your
path darkens
We will
light your way there.
Uniqueness implies loneliness
but there is only one "you". Your identity and your baggage
constitute the tools you have to make sense of the effect of time on everything
that surrounds you. However, because you are the only one living your life does
not mean you are the only one alive and there are things you can turn to for
motivation. "We're here with you. / We'll stay with you. / We're still
with you" as an affirmation of support.
Identity is perhaps the strongest
theme throughout the songs. It is a concept that can be taken for granted, as
it is affirmed through every action in an self-implied way, and yet,
simultaneously, it can escape one's grasp their entire life. It is dynamic,
constantly redefined, even though regular maintenance is not necessarily
mandatory. Hawak's piece challenges something that was implanted and assimilated
from birth by exposing the audience paying attention to a different set of experiences.
Ancestry, gender, culture, alienation, circumstances, biology, self-perception,
inclusion, physical limitations, loneliness. So many parameters affecting the
human experience. Tweak only one of them and the end result is a completely
different person.
Related links
1. https://hawakca.bandcamp.com/album/n-c
2. https://theflyinglugawph.wordpress.com/2021/08/22/album-review-hawak-nuoc/
